What is in a Surname ?

What is in a surname? Everything for some or may be nothing for some others. The opinion will differ from person to person. In my case i don't give a damn to a surname. Neither i use my surname, nor do i call my close friends by theirs.

The reason for my not using my surname is that even my parents never used it. My father was of a very strong opinion that Guru Gobind Singh, the tenth Sikh guru had established a classless society and had given the second name as "Singh" to all the Sikhs to put after their names. Even the Guru had replaced his own second name "Rai" with "Singh" and became Gobind Singh from Gobind Rai after getting baptized. However, it is another matter that many Sikhs today, use their surnames after or in place of Singh. Some Sikh married ladies use two surnames -- one their maiden and the other of their in-laws' whereas, for a Sikh female the second name is 'Kaur' instead of 'Singh', regardless of her marital status.

Another reason for me not to use my surname is that i love my first name and want people to know that and be called by the same. Instead of being called by my surname ie., Nagra or Mr. Nagra i will certainly prefer to be called Balvinder or Balli.

The story behind my decision not to address my close friends by their surname is very interesting which actually had caused me some embarrassment too. I had a class mate named Maheshwar Pal Singh Chaudhary. His father was a Colonel in the Army. All the friends in the college used to call him Chaudhary and so did i. Once, when i went to his house and rang the doorbell, his sister opened the door. Though, i had visited their place a number of times earlier, but i had not met her because she was putting up in a hostel. I told her that i was Chaudhary's friend and would like to meet him. She very politely asked me that which Chaudhary i wanted to meet, "Colonel" or "Mahesh". I realized my mistake and promptly corrected myself and told her that, i wanted to see Mahesh. She ushered me in and though, she sheepishly tried to hide her grin for having pointed out my mistake intentionally, (as she could have very well guessed that a boy of her brother's age could not be calling her father as just "Chaudhary"), i could not hide the embarrassment which was writ large on my face. That was the last time i addressed any of my close friends by their surnames.

Second incident, when the surname (this time my own) had caused me some embarrassment, is in fact more interesting. One of my girlfriends from my college days met me on the mall at Shimla and we went to have a cup of coffee together. We had finished our graduation and i was pursuing my post graduation in English literature and was also waiting for the call letter to join the Officers' Training Academy, as i had been selected for the commission in the Indian Army. She, perhaps, was looking for a match for getting married. During our chat over coffee she directly proposed to me. Though, i was not prepared for the same but i did not show any signs of negative feelings either. While departing, she asked me my surname in a matter of fact manner. I told her my surname. She laughed aloud. When i asked her the reason for doing so she said that her family also had the same surname (she was also from a Nagra family). After a few days when we met again on the mall, she told me that she desired to take her proposal back as she was like a sister to me, since our families shared the same surname. Though, I had not taken her marriage proposal very seriously in the first place yet, there was some feeling of embarrassment, which again, i could not hide, but nevertheless, we had a great laugh after that. Few years later during my visit to Shimla i saw her roaming on the mall road, wearing vermilion in the hair and a 'choora' -- the red and white wedding bangle-set which is worn by a newly wedded Punjabi bride for a number of days after marriage.

I wished her a happy married life and we, once again, had a great laugh in the memory of the day when we had discovered our common surname.

This post also forms part of my life journey. To read all the posts in this series, please click here.