My Hairy Story

In my previous post (click here to read that) i had written about the story of my hair and how gradually i changed my appearance by removing or shortening my facial and skull hair, (sometimes even against the wishes of my near and dear). I had promised to post some of my photographs showing different stages of my facial hair.

So here are the pics. You can start from the bottom of the post for better assimilation. Feel free to comment please.



My recent photograph in the office lobby.




With Jeet on the ridge at Shimla 2008. No 'dadhee moochh' here please.

With Jeet on the ridge at Shimla, many years back.

With Jeet, Harpreet (my sister in blue Saree) and my two sons. And yes, that is Dharmender ji with us at one end. We were his guests at the marriage ceremony of his niece at his Juhu residence at Bombay.

Total change of appearance.

In Indian Army uniform.

The college days photograph. The beard had just started showing.

My first photograph

मेरा मुझ में कुछ नहीं (I Have Nothing of My Own)

My hair belonged to my parents. Having been born in a Sikh family, i had to compulsorily keep long hair. But i always fancied keeping short ones. Once during college days i attempted to cut them short and there was a big ruckus in the family. I had hurt my parents with this act of sacrilege. I had to grow my hair back again. However it was many years of my constant persuasion with my parents, that i was able to convince them to allow me to keep short hair. Please click here to read the whole episode.
For next many years, though, i kept short hair but continued sporting nicely trimmed beard. As i have a bad habit of experimenting with my appearance, so once when i shaved my beard, i was jeered at not only by my wife and kids at home but also by friends at office, particularly the lady friends who did not approve of my clean shaven face. So i silently concluded that my beard is also not my own as it belonged to my family and friends. I grew my beard again. My beard became such inseparable part of me that some colleagues started addressing me as 'daadhee walah sahib'. I hate being stamped with an image. So i got rid of my beard one day. But then again i preserved a small piece of facial hair in the form of moustaches.
It was not until a few days back that i found out that whom did my moustaches belong to. It is none other than my dear wife. I dare not shave off this piece of salt and pepper contraption on my face. Once i did the same, i had to suffer her sarcastic and scornful looks for one whole week, until the poor thing grew back again under my nose.
Let me share a secret here that since now a days my better half is away in a different city to take care of the kids, so i have taken the liberty to get rid of the moustaches but i know that i will have to stop shaving my upper lip one full week before i move to meet her and the kids during Diwali holidays.
( I have put up some photos of different stages of my skull and facial hair later in the next post. Click here to see those)

What is in a Surname ?

What is in a surname? Everything for some or may be nothing for some others. The opinion will differ from person to person. In my case i don't give a damn to a surname. Neither i use my surname, nor do i call my close friends by theirs.

The reason for my not using my surname is that even my parents never used it. My father was of a very strong opinion that Guru Gobind Singh, the tenth Sikh guru had established a classless society and had given the second name as "Singh" to all the Sikhs to put after their names. Even the Guru had replaced his own second name "Rai" with "Singh" and became Gobind Singh from Gobind Rai after getting baptized. However, it is another matter that many Sikhs today, use their surnames after or in place of Singh. Some Sikh married ladies use two surnames -- one their maiden and the other of their in-laws' whereas, for a Sikh female the second name is 'Kaur' instead of 'Singh', regardless of her marital status.

Another reason for me not to use my surname is that i love my first name and want people to know that and be called by the same. Instead of being called by my surname ie., Nagra or Mr. Nagra i will certainly prefer to be called Balvinder or Balli.

The story behind my decision not to address my close friends by their surname is very interesting which actually had caused me some embarrassment too. I had a class mate named Maheshwar Pal Singh Chaudhary. His father was a Colonel in the Army. All the friends in the college used to call him Chaudhary and so did i. Once, when i went to his house and rang the doorbell, his sister opened the door. Though, i had visited their place a number of times earlier, but i had not met her because she was putting up in a hostel. I told her that i was Chaudhary's friend and would like to meet him. She very politely asked me that which Chaudhary i wanted to meet, "Colonel" or "Mahesh". I realized my mistake and promptly corrected myself and told her that, i wanted to see Mahesh. She ushered me in and though, she sheepishly tried to hide her grin for having pointed out my mistake intentionally, (as she could have very well guessed that a boy of her brother's age could not be calling her father as just "Chaudhary"), i could not hide the embarrassment which was writ large on my face. That was the last time i addressed any of my close friends by their surnames.

Second incident, when the surname (this time my own) had caused me some embarrassment, is in fact more interesting. One of my girlfriends from my college days met me on the mall at Shimla and we went to have a cup of coffee together. We had finished our graduation and i was pursuing my post graduation in English literature and was also waiting for the call letter to join the Officers' Training Academy, as i had been selected for the commission in the Indian Army. She, perhaps, was looking for a match for getting married. During our chat over coffee she directly proposed to me. Though, i was not prepared for the same but i did not show any signs of negative feelings either. While departing, she asked me my surname in a matter of fact manner. I told her my surname. She laughed aloud. When i asked her the reason for doing so she said that her family also had the same surname (she was also from a Nagra family). After a few days when we met again on the mall, she told me that she desired to take her proposal back as she was like a sister to me, since our families shared the same surname. Though, I had not taken her marriage proposal very seriously in the first place yet, there was some feeling of embarrassment, which again, i could not hide, but nevertheless, we had a great laugh after that. Few years later during my visit to Shimla i saw her roaming on the mall road, wearing vermilion in the hair and a 'choora' -- the red and white wedding bangle-set which is worn by a newly wedded Punjabi bride for a number of days after marriage.

I wished her a happy married life and we, once again, had a great laugh in the memory of the day when we had discovered our common surname.

This post also forms part of my life journey. To read all the posts in this series, please click here.

My Exploits on Stage

Singing was my hobby so I grew up singing in every cultural programme of my school and later college in Shimla. Mohammad Rafi was my idol and ideal. My voice also suited singing his songs. My immediate guru was my class mate Hari Sandhu, a very good singer himself, who used to give me tips on how to maintain 'sur and taal' while singing. He is now working with All India Radio and is a Hindi News Redaer on FM Gold.

Though i never learnt Sa, Re, Ga, Ma, of hindustani music formally, but i could handle any song, light or semi-classical to the full satisfaction of my listeners. Singing became my obsession and as a result I bagged the coveted best singer award in Inter College Music Competition held at Rampur Bushahar (H.P.) in 1972 --73. I also got a chance to sing on All India Radio, Shimla. But the most satisfying moment of my singing spree was when we, the Ex-Services Officers, had organised an RD Burman nite at Birla Mathushri Hall in Bombay in 1992. I expressed my desire to sing with Burman da. He was kind enough to permit me to go on stage with his troupe. And my prize was the repeated calls from the audience for another song and a smile from Pancham da himself. The song was तुम बिन जाऊं कहाँ -- Mohd Rafi version. (come on my audience, any one reading this??)
Though singing was my passion, yet acting was forced down my throat by my school teachers. As a sikh boy i had very long hair and i was always forced to act as mother, wife, bhabi, daughter etc in the cultural programmes of our all boys school at Shimla. Though i never pursued acting but in the bargain i have the distinction of having rubbed shoulders on stage with Anupam Kher and Vijay Kashyap ( TV serial 'Tenali Rama' fame) who were my school and college mates respectively.

The prize winning role that I have to my credit was that of Mumtaj, the mughal Empress in whose memory her husband, Emperor Shajahan built Taj Mahal at Agra (India). It was the depiction of the scene where her soul appears before Shajahan who was put in prison by his son Aurangzeb. I was wearing a pure white silk gown with my long tresses flowing, which had been carefully shampooed for the occasion. I was put on top of a wooden platform which was lowered gradually with lot of incense sticks burning underneath to create the effect of a soul descending from heavens, looking down at the Emperor who was lying on his death bed. I have been able to lay hands on the photograph where i am receiving a prize from the chief guest at the end of the function. Have a look.

Yup, that's me :-))

This post also forms part of series on my life journey. To read all the posts in this series, please click here.

Murphy's Law

Lots of definitions have been given about Murphy's law. One such definition as given in Wikipedia is that "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way." There are many examples to explain the same but the most common and appropriate one i found is that " No sooner one's body comes in contact with the bath water, than one's phone bell starts ringing". Another one is that "The moment one's both hands are smeared with some mud, grease, dish washing soap, wet flour (atta dough) or any other such slimy material, the tip of one's nose is bound to itch".

Now let me share with you that how the Murphy's Law applies to me.

1. The day i forget to keep my driving license in the pocket, i would certainly drive into a no entry lane and bump into a traffic cop.

2. I always keep a small booklet in my pocket in which i have noted down many references, in addition to telephone numbers, like PIN, pass words, driving licence, passport, bank account numbers etc, etc and most of the times i don't need to refer to them. The day i forget to put the booklet in my pocket, some situation will definitely crop up that the booklet will be badly required for a reference.

3. During rainy season if i walk out, not bothering to take the umbrella, it will certainly rain and very heavily at that.

4. I generally keep some loose coins and small denomination notes in my wallet. Only on the days when i don't carry any loose change on me that the taxi driver or the shopkeeper simply won't break my hundred or five hundred rupee note.

5. Some time back my computer was placed a little away from my table in my office cabin and the telephones are lying on my main table. The moment i went and sat on the computer chair to do some work on my PC, one of the telephones would invariably start ringing. I have brought the computer table closer now.

6. I am bound to get a sneezing fit or catch cold the day i forget to put my handkerchief in my pocket. I would have to rush one of the office boys to buy one from the nearest pavement vendor or do that myself if not in the office.

7. I keep my pen in my breast pocket most of times. It's dire need will only arise when i forget to take the same and there is no one in sight possessing any. I have started keeping a pen in the glove compartment of my car.

8. While waiting on the traffic red light, the moment i turn off the engine to save fuel, the traffic lights will turn green.

9. Some colleague will always walk into my cabin, the moment i open my blog or some other such site. No one will ever bother to drop in when i work on Microsoft word, PowerPoint or Excel.

There are many more such examples and i may add them later, as and when i remember. But meanwhile let us find out from our blogger friends that what is their experience. No tags here. I believe in voluntary exercise which is always more fruitful.

तुम मुझे यूँ भुला ना पाओगे

I entered his office and enquired about him. He had gone out for some work. However, they gave me his cell number. I rang up and heard this melodious song (title of this post) as a hello tune. After a few seconds he came on line. I asked him a question " was that your voice that i just heard ?". He said no, it was Md Rafi's voice but in the same breath he enquired as to who was calling. I said "guess". He offered to apologise. I told him that there was no need to feel sorry because i was talking to him after a gap of approximately thirty five years. And then, after a brief silence, he hit the bull's eye."is it Balvinder " he said and i laughed aloud on this side.

Hari Sandhu, my class mate from fifth standard onwards as well as my music mentor. I had rediscovered him through my blog post " My Exploits on Stage" just a month back. It so happened that his son was surfing the net and did some search on the search engines. As soon as he keyed his father's name the search engine opened my blog post where i had mentioned his name. He later told me that their family slept at one in the night after reading all my blog posts in one go.

And now since i was at Delhi to celebrate Dipawali festival with my family, i made it a point to meet him. He rushed back from where he was and there we were, hugging each other after thirty five years or so. He took me to his place to let me meet his family. On the way he made me talk to one of our school teachers, Mr. R.K. Gupta, with whom he was still in touch. We were together in the school from class five to class eleventh (we had ten plus one plus three system) and then in differnt colleges at Shimla, singing and acting in almost every cultural programme of the school, college or the town, sometimes together and some times as rivals.

So next two hours or so we just relived the memories of our school and college days in addition to enquiring as to how the life has been behaving with us during this gap of thirty five years or so.

Hari Sandhu, an ardent fan of Md Rafi, had made it quite obvious in the fifth standard itself when Rafi saheb had visited Shimla for live performance in the summer festival. He had entered the function enclosure and got as close to the stage as possible to have a closer look at his idol. Later he wrote to Rafi saheb and the legendary singer sent him his autographed picture as a compliment. And he would flaunt it quite often in the school. That picture is still embellishing his drawing room shelf. Hari Sandhu has been endowed with the voice closest to that of Rafi saheb. And some times i envied him for that because i, my self being a fan of Md Rafi, would try his songs but would never get that effect which Hari's voice had.

Hari works for FM Gold at Delhi and he also gives live performances singing Md Rafi songs at various places across the country.

So folks if you are looking for any of your long lost friends then keep searching for him/her.
And don't forget to try the net itself. You may discover your friend and may hear the hello tune on the other side of the line : "तुम मुझे यूँ भुला ना पाओगे"

My Addictions

I have been tagged by Manpreet . The job is to post my five addictions on my blog (a highly top secret and a sensitive job). Since she has evoked the fauji spirit in me to carry out the given assignment urgently, i have put all other work on hold and got down to the job right away. After all, i represent a highly result oriented organisation that Indian Army is. Though i have been tagged earlier by Renu and Nancy, i have not fulfilled all the requirements of those tags. Renu asked me to post my quirky side and she and Nancy awarded me with BFFA (Blogging Friends Forever Award). I did write My Quirky Side and also displayed the BFFA award on my blog as per the tag rules, but i have partially violated the rules by not extending the tag to my fellow bloggers. I apologise for that. I would do that in due course. (let me share with you that Jeet is here with me at Calcutta for some time, who otherwise is continuing to stay at Delhi with kids, after my transfer to this place in 2005. She comes once in a while. Therefore the time is at extreme premium. I have even written a poem for her "तुम हो एक हवा का झोंका" in my other blog कल्पना की उड़ान ).

Again as per the rules of the present tag, Manpreet, please bear with me for further linking etc which may take some time. Now, let me carry out the main job first.

While i picked up the key board to type out my addictions, i stopped for a while and pondered over as to what addictions do i have. None, i suppose. But after a second thought i shortlisted certain habits which may not be called either addictions or quirks but those certainly are the ones without which some dearth is felt, some sense of incompleteness in my day to day life. So let me proceed :-

1. My daily four cups of tea ie., at 7 a.m. to start the day with, at 11 a.m. as an accelerator, at 3 p.m. to drive away the afternoon drowsiness and at 6 p.m. to unwind the day.

2. My morning newspaper must reach me before i sip the morning tea and i read the same up to the sports page in one go. And frankly speaking that is the only reading i do at present. I get damn ragged on the days when there are no newspapers, mostly on the days followed by national holidays.

3. Surfing the news channels on the TV along with the 6 p.m. cup of tea is a must. There is some times a fight for remote if Jeet or kids are watching something else. But TV people are wise enough not to telecast any ladies programme at that hour.

4. Work out from seven to eight in the evening from Monday to Friday. Please don't ask me that why not in the morning. I have had enough morning P.T. parades in the army and now the morning sleep has become very dear to me. Workout is generally a mix of Baba Ramdev routine and some sweating out on the treadmill.

5. And finally my weekend drink, at home or at the club or at a friend's place. In fact i go through the whole week just in a hope to break free on Friday evenings. But at the same time i don't even look at my drinks closet during week days, unless a friend walks in.
Edited to add
The above matter i had written yesterday. Now let me do the honours of extending the tag to Joshi, Ashwani, Renu, Gurpreet, Nancy, Arti and Parry. Please guys and gals, don't let me down.

And let me also shake up Chitra who generally goes into oblivion after writing a post. Chitra where are you.

Manpreet, task accomplished.
PS : I forgot to mention above that the persons who have been tagged have to link the blogger who tagged them and also extend the tag to five or more bloggers and link them too.

Voluntary Exercise

I read the post of Arti, one of my fellow bloggers where she had been asked to give answer to some questions. I found the questions interesting. So i wanted to give it a try. Here are my answers :-

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?A lover can never be a betrayer. The one who betrayed was never a lover. So, no point in wasting your breath and sweat for him/her.

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be.A boundary less world. A class less society.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?Any mischief monger.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?Enjoy every possible luxury which this money could buy.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?Falling in love is not voluntary, I suppose.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?I believe in the good old saying “Love begets Love” so certainly loving somebody will get me back love only.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?Wait for what ?

8. If the person you secretly admire is attached, what will you do?The admiration should have nothing to do with the attachment, i suppose and the same will continue.

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?To weed out corruption.

10. What takes you down the fastest?Being deceived by some trusted one.

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?A comfortable retired life.

12. What’s your fear?Fear of unknown

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?No one has tagged me. This is a voluntary exercise.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?Married of course and marriage generally makes one poorer only, unless of course if you have married some crorepati's daughter.

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?I will love to maintain the status quo

16. Would you give all in a relationship?Only as per the demand of the relationship and if the relationship demands all then it is not a healthy one.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone, no matter how horrible a thing he/she has done?It will depend on the gravity of the misdeed.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?I hate being single.

My Quirky Side

I was tagged by Renu some time back and as per the rules i have to post my quirky side on my blog. I have taken some time to think of my quirks worth posting here, because it was difficult to make a choice to post some of the many which i have. So i decided to post the ones for which i have been regularly inviting the nags of my wife and kids. I may be able to get rid of them if i publish them here, perhaps. Because they say that if something is troubling you , just write your heart out. And what better place to write than one's blog. So here we go :-

1. Off late i have started following 'Gandhigiri' (you can read the post in my blog by the same title) and as a result, finding some one doing something wrong at a public place like asking for a bribe, throwing garbage, spitting, peeing etc i am tempted to deliver an instant moral lecture to the culprit on the disadvantages of such bad habits, while my folks try to pull me away from the spot.

2. Whenever my sons drive and i am sitting in the co-driver's seat, my left hand remains half risen from my lap, as a mark of a signal for him to drive slow, to which he hardly pays attention.

3. If i am asked to iron some dress by any one in the family who is getting late for some engagement, i take my own time doing it properly, crease by crease, sending the would be user of the garment into a fit of anxiety. My wife taunts me that i must have been a presswalah dhobi in my previous birth. "No", i tell her "i am a Virgo who are supposed to be near perfectionists" (though i am nowhere near perfection in any other field of work).

4. In a party of close like minded friends, i cannot stay without singing, regardless of the fact that my vocal chords are totally out of tune now. My kids later take me to task for doing that.

I will add more quirks later.

Edited to add

5. On the days of journey with the family members, I always insist on leaving home well in time to reach at least one hour in advance at the railway station and two hours at the airport just to keep enough cushion time to take care of traffic disruptions or vehicle breakdowns en route. That habit of mine really bugs my family members.

Love is love after all

Love comes in many forms. It may be between two persons of opposite or same sexes of the same age or of different age groups. It may be both sided or one sided.

I still remember my first crush when i was in may be third or fourth standard. The object of my love was not any class mate but my class teacher. I used to sing a little bit right from my childhood. One day when we were asked to sing songs in the class room by the same class teacher, I sang "एहसान तेरा होगा मुझ पर.... मूझे तुमसे मोहब्बत हो गयी है. मूझे पलकों की छायों में रहने दो". When at the end of the session the teacher asked me that for whom had i sung that song. I very innocently replied "for you ma'am" The class burst into laughter. love is love after all.