Tuesday, September 15, 2009

मेरा मुझ में कुछ नहीं (I Have Nothing of My Own)


My hair belonged to my parents. Having been born in a Sikh family, i had to compulsorily keep long hair. But i always fancied keeping short ones. Once during college days i attempted to cut them short and there was a big ruckus in the family. I had hurt my parents with this act of sacrilege. I had to grow my hair back again. However it was many years of my constant persuasion with my parents, that i was able to convince them to allow me to keep short hair. Please click here to read the whole episode.
For next many years, though, i kept short hair but continued sporting nicely trimmed beard. As i have a bad habit of experimenting with my appearance, so once when i shaved my beard, i was jeered at not only by my wife and kids at home but also by friends at office, particularly the lady friends who did not approve of my clean shaven face. So i silently concluded that my beard is also not my own as it belonged to my family and friends. I grew my beard again. My beard became such inseparable part of me that some colleagues started addressing me as 'daadhee walah sahib'. I hate being stamped with an image. So i got rid of my beard one day. But then again i preserved a small piece of facial hair in the form of moustaches.
It was not until a few days back that i found out that whom did my moustaches belong to. It is none other than my dear wife. I dare not shave off this piece of salt and pepper contraption on my face. Once i did the same, i had to suffer her sarcastic and scornful looks for one whole week, until the poor thing grew back again under my nose.
Let me share a secret here that since now a days my better half is away in a different city to take care of the kids, so i have taken the liberty to get rid of the moustaches but i know that i will have to stop shaving my upper lip one full week before i move to meet her and the kids during Diwali holidays.
( I have put up some photos of different stages of my skull and facial hair later in the next post. Click here to see those)



28 comments:

Renu said...

:)...really if we think that way then we always belong to others and so are the other things, after all man is a social animal.

deep said...

..i guess ALMOST all the things we do are directly or indirectly for someone else..may be bcoz we are happy with wat makes our special ones happy..
Although it sounds selfish but I always wish for somedays and somethings, that could be only for me and only me..is rarely being selfish bad..?

deep said...

@comment on my blog..thanks alot for the wishes..theres a little addition in yesterdays post... plz have a look..

Aparna said...

Since I read you were an army officer, I am taking it for granted your heart belongs to India. And who does your mind belong to? It must be a great feeling to give your self away to all these different people. After all 'tera tujhko saunpne me kya lage hai mera?' Right?
Really, really enjoyed your subtle sense of humour.

CY|\|O$|_|RE said...

Somehow or the other...no matter directly or indirectly.....we are attached to others and most of the times our each and every single action have a greater effect on others rather than on ourselves.....

@comment on DEEP's post.....thanks a lot for wishes.......

Balvinder Singh said...

Renu, yes "apne liye jiye toh kiya jiye"

Deep, you are very right, most of the times we feel happy because some one close to our heart feels so. But yes there is no harm if once in a while we live a few moments for ourselves also. Picture of your brother is very cute.

Aparna, yes i had dedicated my heart and body to the country the day i joined Indian Army and it still belongs there.

Well, so far as mind is concerned it is a very 'chanchal' thing and wants to remain independent as far as possible. Thanks for the compliments.

Balvinder Singh said...

CYNOSURE, very right,our actions don't only affect us but also a number of others particularly who are close to us

and i didn't know earlier that you are Deep's brother. So please accept the birthday wishes directly also.

How do we know said...

ha ha ha .. this was a funny piece!!

How do we know said...

ha ha ha .. this was a funny piece!!

CY|\|O$|_|RE said...

thanks a lot once again..........

haha....after reading your whole story.......Now i got it dat why everyone's still complaining to you about your look.......you looked much cooler in your early days than now.... :)

Reflections said...

You wrote it funny yet with cynicism huh????

Read the link also...I thought u looked really smart with the turban;-D

Reflections said...

This is nothing to do with ur post per se but sharing with u some of my memories:-)).

U knw...in my school & college days I used to thk sardarjis' were very handsome:-D
I dont knw if u know abt this chant when u see a crow...
"One for sorrow, 2 for joy, 3 for letters, 4 for boys and so on"
But there was a parallel ditty taught to me by my friend from Nagaland for when we see a sardarji....we had to say
"One for Success,"[if we saw one of them]
"Two for joy"[if we saw two]
"Three for letters" and the person who is with u has to say 'granted' which meant "may ur wish be granted"

I see sardarjis' very rarely nowadays but even now when I see one I immediately nudge my husband & hiss "One for Success, say granted"

;-D

tim said...

Gem was my very good friend. But now were not friends anymore. i am sad. but let the things go on its way...

BK Chowla said...

A fauji belongs to the Nation,yes he does.After that does it really matter which part belongs to who?I can confirm,though, moustache surely belongs to the dear wife.
It surprises me that you were allowed to be clean shaven.

Balvinder Singh said...

HDWK, thank you.

CYNOSURE, you are welcome, yes i looked smart in turban, then also with beard, and then again with the moochh. I will put up some of pics in different stages in this post. Though my change of appearance every few years annoys lot of people. But then slowly they get used to the new one. That is the cycle of life, i suppose.

Nancy, funny yes but cynic is it??

Yes we used to repeat this chant on spotting the sparrows, but not the sardarjees :-)) But yes there are a lot many other jokes on them, particularly in north India. And the beauty is that only a sikh is capable of cracking a joke on himself.

Tim, i feel sad for you, but then life is like that.

Mr. Chowla, you are right. The moustaches belong to my wife alone and that i found out only after i shaved them. In fact i was not allowed to shave my moochh by her but i did it on the pretext of giving them proper shape.

Reflections said...

No, no u mistake what I say....tht chant was not a joke really....atleast not to us schoolkids. Sardarjis' were seen so rarely in Bangalore in the 80's that seeing them was regarded as lucky;-o.

Even today the kid in me believes it;-D.

Balvinder Singh said...

Nancy, actually i took it as a joke only because in most parts of India the sight of a sardar jee is associated with jovial nature, well built bodies, rich eating habits etc. But your telling that sighting a sardar jee was also cosidered as sign of success and is really a revelation. Thanks for sharing the same and now i can boast to all my friends.

Nancy in case you had seen some single sardar on Bagalore roads in early eighties and passed your exam then you owe it to me because i often used to come to Banaglore for various official jobs when my battallion was at Trivandrum between 1980 and 1982. The MG road and Brigade road including the Top Cafe used to be my favourite haunts for coffee, snacks, ice creams etc and Majestic circle for movies :-))))

Balvinder Singh said...

Nancy, I was in my early twenties then and used to put on turban.

Madhu said...

We (Indians) have come a long way but often stick to our human nature of "trying-to-please-someone", like the world is going to end if we don't (including me).

I often wonder how beautiful the world will be if we just let go of the expectations we have of others and accept just the way they are (and vice verse). Then world will more less adulterated...Alas, the wishful thinking.

LazyKing said...

lol, cant wait for the pictures.
very funny, the mustache story.
I dont like shaving my mustache :) I feel weird when I do it

Balvinder Singh said...

Madhu, yes too much expectations from our near and dear is also bad. But then sometimes one gets the joy just by doing something for a friend or a relative because it keeps him or her happy. Sometimes the joy of giving is much more than otherwise. Thanks for the visit. You have a lovely blog. Will come there for more. Keep in touch.

Lazy King , thanks, will upload pics after getting them scanned as they are old prints.

J P Joshi said...

Good one Balvinder! ghar ki kheti hai jab chahe uga lo........Diwali se pehle to zaroor uga lena, please.

Balvinder Singh said...

Yes JP, will have to stop shaving the upper lip at least one week before leaving this place. Though it takes longer for it to attain proper shape. But a week's nursury is enough to show the progress of growth of 'ghar ki kheti';-)

shail said...

Yeah, I see your point lol. I guess my long hair also belonged to my family and friends. Everyone chastised me whenever I had the urge to cut my hair and succumbed to it. But now, it belongs to me as I do with it as I wish! ;)

Pins N Ashes said...

Hey Balvinder... wow! a hairy post eh!

a boy-friend (of course, girls don't grow facial hair) said "I don't think you'll enjoy being in my shoes, because shaving my face every two-three days is a torture" We gals laughed it off then...

It is good to belong to somebody rather than not too always

..PNA..

Balvinder Singh said...

Shail and Ashes : yes some thing in you always belongs to some one close to you. That also gives you pride and comfort that you belong to some one rather than no one. But yes at times you need that freedom too, to manage your own things in the way you feel like. One has to strike a very fine balance while doing so and without causing any hurts.

Reflections said...

LOL.....then I'm sure even I've seen u;-D

Balvinder Singh said...

Nancy, yes may be, if we had Digital Video Recorders in our brains, we could rewind and see the old recorded data like we have in the CCTV system :-))